Beau and the Arrows of Eros
by Sakhmet and Hathor
Summary: When Beaumont Vamos receives a gift from his father, he decides to make it his personal mission to match perfect couples together. It might not have been the best idea he ever had, or was it?
1. Presents, Goodie!

Beaumont Vamos was always told he was stunning. Ever since he was young, he was the subject to thousands of crushes and responsible for countless broken hearts. Sometimes it worked to his advantage, but mostly not.

When he found out his father was the god of love, it all made sense.

"My dad's a baby with wings? You're telling me, my dad is Eros. The chubby dude on crappy valentines cards?"

Nico ran his hand down his face. With an exasperated sigh, he stared the Beau right in the eye.

"Eros is a dangerous guy. Believe me... I've had experience."

The look on the ghost kings face was hard to read, but Beau could read emotions. He had a skill for it. It was easy to read emotions, but sometimes, he wished he couldn't. Some emotions were to much for him to handle.

Beau leaned back into his seat. It groaned with pressure. The boy began slowly rocking back and forth, taking in what he had just been told.

"I've often wondered," he thought aloud , "Why people fall in love. Is it phisical? Or mabye even similarities in personality?"

Nico shrugged and twisted the skull rings on his pale fingures. He wanted to avoid the topic. Beau crashed the chair back onto four legs. He shot to his feet and grinned at his friend.

"Come on Nico, we have work to do!"

Nico eyed him suspiciously, "_What _work?"

" An experiment. It'll be fun! " He clapped his hands together.

"Fun isn't in my vocabulary."

" Gods, Nico. Anyone would think you are a robot! "

Nico held Beau's gaze with an uncomfortable silence.

"Mabye I am."

* * *

The camp grounds were deathly silent. Appropriate, because death boy was stalking after his friend. Beau turned and grinned at Nico. He knew were Nico really wanted to be. With his boyfriend Will, but, currently, Will was acting as medic to the victims of Clarisse's latest victory in capture the flag.

"Can I go now?" Nico moaned .

"Not yet, Nicky!"

Nico shot him a dangerous look, "I've told you, _don't _call me that."

" Sheesh! "

Beau stopped short of a cabin. It was tall and oddly elegant.

"Are you kidding me?!"

"Come on Nico! It will be fu-"

"Don't say it! I'm going. Don't try to charmspeak me, otherwise your dads bow is going where the sun don't shine!"

Beau shrugged. He didn't want to have an angry Nico on his hands, so let him storm off in a cloud of emotions. The son of Eros paced up the the dirty brown door and tapped at it gently.

He felt something scratching his ankles. It had plant like claws. When Beau glanced down, he leaped back with a shriek. A Karpos snarling at him from the decking.

It was plump and had a Mohawk of ivy and tangled wings of almost chain-mail like ivy leaves. It's skin was vainy green and glossy. Again, it snarled. Rearing up onto it's legs, it charged at Beau.

His hand instinctively went for where his bow was usually. But, because it was his off day, he'd left it in the Aphrodite cabin.

"Dammit!"

"Hedera! Stop it!" A girl's voice barked . The karpos grudgingly backed away and climbed up to the girls shoulder. It gave one last 'Ill-kill-you-later' snarl. Flora, the Karpos's master, scratched his Mohawk.

"Sorry 'bout him, Bee. He's... temperamental."

Beau glared at the Karpos. It glared back. Examining his scratches, Beau sighed. Apart from some bleeding claw marks on his ankles, he was fine. Flora, however, was apologising non-stop about the spirits actions.

"S'okay. Flo, listen, I want your help with a, err, pet project."

Flora studied her best friend . She stared him dead in the eyes, "Sure. What is it?"

* * *

**A week and a couple of failed attempts later...**

" Sure about this? "

Beau giggled. He nodded affirming his plan was safe. Flora played with her braids. She never knew wether to trust him or not. He could be a little wild. The daughter of Demeter patted her Karpos's back. Beau kept his distance from the creature. It hated his guts and vice versa.

"Gods. I hope this works, otherwise... We die."

" Be positive! "

"We die quickly!" Flora hissed at him, " and hopefully get turned into plants! "

Beau facepalmed. Flora snorted out a laugh. Hedera snarled. Knocking an arrow on his bowstring, the son of Eros adjusted his crouching position.

Flora peeked over the fallen tree at the two, now very confused, demigods. They both held cards with 'secret admirer ' signed at the bottom. It was all part of Beau's ever increasingly complex plan.

The plan was, well, complex. Beau wanted to test out out his new arrows. Gifts from his father. He also wanted to play matchmaker. So far, it wasn't working... so far.

"Paolo?" The girl, daughter of Aphrodite, gasped , "Did you send me this?"

She gestured to the crudely made card in her hand. Paolo stammered nervously. His hands shot to his face in embarrassment. His sparse English was even more evident .

"N..no! I no do it!"

Flora glared at Beau. She thumped his shoulder. Beau pouted playfully and drew the bow string back to his ear. Hedera skittered around his master, as if he knew what was about to happen.

"Val, I no do!"

The son of Eros loosed his arrow. It cut through the air like a hot knife through butter. It found its target, Paolo's head. Instead of killing him, it burst into a cloud of sweet smelling perfume. Beau fist bumped Flora.

"Bee, I wonder why anyone would trust you with those weapons."

He shrugged , "I don't know either. Honestly."

* * *

Chiron watched over the sea of demigods. As they settled down, Chiron started his announcements.

"You have all probably heard by now of a troublemaker in our midst."

Everyone instantly looked towards the Hermes kids, they all held their hands up in mock shock.

" How _dare _you blame us! " Connor Stoll jokingly gasped. The whole pavilion sniggered until Chiron and Dionysus shouted at them.

"We need them to come foward. If anyone knows about someone with access to Eros's arrows, please come foward. Thank you."

" Well, "Beau leaned over to Flora as he passed," We're screwed. "

The daughter of Demeter grimaced, "Not yet we're not."


	2. Ant rebellion

The giant ant wasn't factored into Beau's latest hare-brained scheme, but it worked. Yeah, sure it was the most disturbing thing he'd seen (save the time he saw a Hermes kid squirt milk from his nose), but it worked. Nothing could unite two demigods in one place better than fighting a vicious monster!

After avoiding another stream of poison, Beau scrambled over another fallen tree. He silently prayed to whatever god looked over stupid stunts and hauled himself into the lowest branches of a nearby pine.

* * *

Not so long ago, Beau had been asleep in his cabin. He wished he still was. The cabin as small, but homely, decorated in a dusky pink with rose pattern wall paper. It was a slightly more subtle thing than the in you face Aphrodite cabin.

Soft pillows, baby pink beanbags, vases of roses,shelves of romantic novels, art and CD's filled the cabin. The beautiful smell of fresh flowers wafted through the still air. Beau was fast asleep on a chaise, snoring away.

"Bee?"

Knuckles wrapped at the door. Flora sighed and pounded slightly louder. Beau could sleep through a bombing raid if you let him, so Flora pushed open the door.

"Bee? Vamos ?"

She found him with his butt in the air, on the red chaise. Flora rolled her eyes and prodded him. He still didn't wake. Again she prodded him. No chance.

"Oh, Beaumont Vamos?"

Desperate times call for desperate measures. She leant over and picked up his bow, which was lent against the wall. Beau instantly shot awake. He leaped off of the sofa, grabbed his axe and pointed it at Flora.

"Good, you're awake! Now, drop the axe and follow me, Chiron's called for everyone. Myrmekes are attacking camp."

How calmly she spoke scared Beau, but he didn't argue. She took after her mother, which meant she could be like summer one day, but winter the next.

"Come, Bee, we have work!"

"Yup.. Sure.. Five more minutes sleep!" Beau dropped the axe and fell onto the chaise.

With an exasperated sigh, Flora pulled him to his feet. She elbowed him in the ribs and smiled.

"Vamos, Vamos!"

* * *

Back in the present moment and Beau is halfway up the tree. He managed to fiddle an arrow out of his quiver and string it into his bow. Several panicked demigods were scattered before him.

He was covered in scratches, head to toe, from climbing the pine. Ignoring the pain pulsating from his hands and balls of feet, Beau took up an almost assassin like pose on a sturdy branch.

An ant thrashed around violently, tossing a couple of demigods to the floor. The targets were so close that Beau almost fell off of his perch with excitement. As soon as he had steadied himself, however, a rouge ant had chucked the apart.

"Dammit!" He hissed at himself .

Another chance came and went and Beau was beginning to think his father was playing games. Closing his eyes, Beau breathed in and tightened his grip on his bow.

One last chance. They were so close. Beau loosed his arrow. It whistled through the air. Over the heads of demigods and monsters. It hit them both because they were so close.

"May Eros and Anteros be with you."

Beau felt their sudden rushes of adrenaline and warmth in their cheeks. He'd gotten used to it after the first two couples. The feeling of Coupe de fourde, as his father would put it. But it was someone else's, so it was still kinda wierd.

* * *

After subduing the ant rebellion, everyone was exhausted. Beau searched the sea of demigods for Flora or that scary Karpos, Hedera. Eventually, he found the karpos curled up next to the hearth, but no sign of it's master.

"Hedera? Where is -?" The karpos slashed at him, " Please don't hurt me! "

The chubby little creature growled, "Flora, Hedera! Ivy Ivy Hedera!"

" Uh... Sure? "

It turned back to sleep. Shrugging, Beau turned and spotted the camps newest couple. He couldn't help but smile. It was painful though. Checking his wristwatch, he sighed, 1:25. It was a cold, stary night. The hearth was still burning bright. Beau only wore a heart patterned t-shirt and jogging bottoms.

"Bee!"

" Flora. I was beginning to think you'd met Hades! "

"I would've gone kicking and screaming!"

"If you did, I would've pestered Nico for weeks."

Flora nodded, but her expression quickly changed. The smile fell off of her face and was replaced by a deep frown, that was accentuated by the gloom of the fire.

"A heads up that Chiron may have seen you with your father's bow... So, good luck. Try to keep your head down. "

"Mmmhmm. Night."

Heading their separate ways, Beau gripped his bow to his chest. He leaped onto his bed and lay there for a while, trying to formulate plan for the next week. Eventually, however, he fell deeply asleep, only to be woken by a piercing scream from outside.


	3. Never trust an invertebrate

"What the-!"

Jolting awake, Beau reached out for his bow. He caught it and drew it under his arm. He leaped out of bed and slung his quiver on his back. He raced downstairs and kicked open the door.

On the horizon, the sun was just peeking over the horizon line. Beau had no chance to admire it as he pulled out an arrow and notched it. Stalking out, he studied the camp grounds.

The first thing he noticed was the giant ant. He swore a string of words and drew the arrow back. The monster turned and threw its giant, hideous mandibles about. Trying not to puke, Beau loosed the arrow. It wasn't one of his love arrows, he saved those for 'special occasions'.

It logged itself into the monsters eye. Thrashing around, it tried to rid itself of the arrow. Beau screwed his nose up and notched another arrow. The monster thrashed and swung its head around, spraing poison.

"Watch it, ant!"

More people were crowding outs with weapons and were preparing to fight. Out of the corner of his eye, Beau saw Flora and Hedera. He nodded in their vague direction. He loosed the arrow, which penetrated the ants head. It jflew threw the monsters brain and out the other side.

Fistpumping, Beau grinned widely. He suddenly felt a sharp pain in the back of his neck. Touching it, he felt his fingures burning. Rubbing his fingertips together, he examined it, before cussing. And promptly passing out.

Ant poison.

* * *

Flora cradled her little karpos in her arms. It cooed sweetly, now and than saying, 'Hedera, Hedera.' Next to her, in a camp bed, was her best friend. Beau was in deep sleep. He had a slight aura about him, pink and red. A _violent _pink. If that was possible.

"Beaumont," she whispered , "You idiotic hero."

Hedera snarled.

"Just... Wake up. If you die, I will resurrect you and kill you again."

Hedera snarled again.

Looking up, she saw Chiron smiling gently. He held Beau's wreaked, ant poisoned quiver in one hand, love-arrow in other. Flora turned crimson red and hid behind Hedera. The karpos squealed and struggled, Chiron was the only other person who he respected, apart from Flora and Demeter.

"I know. No use in hiding."

Now it was Flora's turn to struggle. She squeezed her karpos to her chest and forced a grin.

"Look, errr, Chiron. I - we- did it for the best. We thought it could help. I'm so sorry."

The old centaur passed the arrow and quiver to the rather sheepish Flora. He trotted over to Beau's side and put his hand on the boys head. Hedera squirmed out of Flora's grasp and hopped onto Beau's chest.

"Will he, he live?"

A grim look passed Chiron's ancient face.

"Hard to say. I sincerely hope so."

With that, he trotted away tail whipping side to side.

* * *

All he was was white. Reaching up, Beau moaned.

"Is this death?"

He felt a breeze on his hand, he retracted his hand.

"It's a lot different to what I expected."

"You're not dead yet, but you gave it a shot!"

The light sorted itself out and he recognised the voice. Flora. He rolled onto his side and gripped her in a hug. He still was in pain, but he was alive.

"Glad I'm not dead?"

" Hmm. I don't know. Are you happy? "

* * *

The next few weeks were very different. Beau and Flora kept their heads down to avoid Chiron and Mr D's wrath. Eros, despite all of the mess, was proud of his son. He formally presented him with a new quiver and arrows, much to Flora's dismay.

The love-arrowed couples stuck together. Which Beau was glad about. There was one love-arrow left. Flora kept it locked in a box under her bunk and let Hedera swallow the key. The karpos was seriously smug about that.

Beau recovered well, but was left with a scar in his neck. He never spoke about the ant rebellion again. He did, however, find love, which he cursed his father for. He could hear Eros's laughter on the wind.

* * *

"We won!" Beaumont called from Zeus's fist. He held a flag in his hand. From the surrounding woods, demigods cheered. He was beginning to like camp, despite everything that happened in his first month. It was home.


End file.
